Why it’s important to value yourself and what you do
By Todd Cohen
As a patient and consumer of dental services, I have come to a conclusion about my experience at my dentist’s practice. That epiphany, if you will, is a bit of a love letter to my hygienist, and it’s a simple message with some complexity behind it. You are the heart and soul of the dental practice and, because I am grateful for what you do, I am inviting you to make one very important change to your mindset.
Every conversation is a selling and coaching moment that constructs lasting images in others’ minds. Considering how important first impressions can be, there are three words that are absolutely deadly to your career and your very psyche. These three words, when uttered, send an extremely negative message to everyone around you. These words—just nine simple letters and one apostrophe—can have an incredibly detrimental effect on your ability to create new relationships, establish credibility, and attract others. Ready? Here they are:
“I’m just the…”
These three words send a very strong message about how you feel about yourself, how you view your value, and how you view your contributions to your organization. “I’m just the …” sets up a cascade of unflattering perceptions and opinions in the hearts and minds of the people around you. It creates an indelible image that you believe you have little to no value.
Also by Cohen | Presence: The silent selling tool all dental professionals have
But that’s just the tip of the iceberg in regard to these three, seemingly harmless, little words. They can negatively impact you in a number of ways.
- This expression is one you are wired to say, and it sends the message that “I don’t matter.” It’s akin to saying, “Please don’t take me seriously.” There is another dimension to these words that is very damaging. Imagine you are approached by a dentist, a colleague, or perhaps an office manager, and they ask you some questions about a situation. The questioning could be entirely innocent, or pointed—eliciting a defensive response from you in the form of “I’m just the” in an attempt to deflect blame or responsibility. These words are an intentional or unintentional way to defer accountability. It’s the unconscious way these words are used that sets you up for failure and disengagement.
- It’s similar to using “but” when you should say “and.” Using the word “but” is a bad idea because it negates everything that has been said up to that point. The same result occurs when you say, “I’m just the ...” You make it harder on yourself to get what you need, and it drastically affects your ability to leave a lasting, positive impression. You must engage people to further your goals. Let them know you matter!
- It sends the clear message that you don’t have confidence in what you do and how you contribute to the practice every single day. One of the most common questions asked in business is, “What do you do?” When faced with that question, you typically have a few seconds to make your mark. Don’t waste that opportunity by starting with “I’m just the ...”
- It telegraphs your insecurities. Everyone has them, and anyone who suggests that they are not insecure on some level is actually insecure. Secure people are okay with their insecurities, and they face them with courage and determination. Life can be hard enough without saying these three words.
- Patients like confidence. Project confidence and be able to articulate what you do quickly (your value proposition) and capture people’s imagination and passion. Don’t squander that golden opportunity with “I’m just the …” and then your title. Snoozer.
- It’s competitive out there! When you use these words you don’t differentiate or set yourself apart in any way. You might as well say “Please ignore me and talk to the next person.” When people attempt to engage you in conversation, believe that they want to ge tot know you and find some common ground. Your job is to engage with others and to display a willingness to take the conversation to a deeper level.
- It’s all about attitude and mindset. “I’m just the …” speaks volumes about your seemingly negative attitude and mindset. Whether accurate or not, once the message is sent then perception is set. Perception becomes reality, and then it becomes very hard to turn that ship around. Don’t make things harder on yourself than need be. Perception is reality.
- It does matter what people think! When you were growing up did your parents ever say, “It doesn’t matter what others think?” While that may be true in certain situations, when it comes to selling yourself, explaining your position, or seeking consensus it does matter what people think. Please be very careful about your word choice when you are engaged in a conversation. Don’t make it easier to be dismissed by others by uttering the words “I’m just the ...”
- Respect. When you hold yourself accountable and refuse to hide behind “I’m just the …,” you show the world that you accept responsibility for your position or your opinion on a situation—regardless of outcome. Avoiding “I’m just the …” will earn you respect and admiration.
Today’s modern and successful dental practice succeeds because of the entire team that is in place! The dentist, the hygienist, the dental assistant…everyone interacts with the patient, everyone plays a significant role, and everyone works together to ensure more patient case acceptances. The hygienist is the heart and soul of that patient’s experience. Everyday the hygienist makes recommendations, influences, inspires, and ensures great patient outcomes! Every single day and with every single conversation you save lives.
Most importantly, never let anyone introduce you as part of the practice as “just the hygienist.” Furthermore, you should never introduce anyone as “just the office manager” or “just the assistant.” These three words send the message to me—the patient—that their office is dysfunctional, and everyone is not focused on the patient. When I go for my dental checkups (three times a year!), I want to get the “warm fuzzies” that the team likes and respects each other for their individual brilliances and contributions to my care.
