Thursday Troubleshooter: Stop the gossip! But things are complicated in this dental practice

QUESTION: I am an RDH who works in a very fast-paced office where the boss plays favorites. The staff is pretty sure the dentist is having an affair with one of the hygienists, but we can't verbalize our concerns because our office manager is the dentist’s mother! Do you have any suggestions on how we can handle this situation?

ANSWER FROM LISA MARIE SPRADLEY, FAADOM, The “Front Desk Lady” of TCB Dental Consulting:
First let's address the elephant in the room. Obviously everyone is talking about the doctor's supposed relationship with the other hygienist, and this may be the reason for the feelings of favoritism. Whether or not there’s a relationship is really none of anyone else's business. However, we can and should address the perceived lack of fairness in the office.

Is there an office policy that dictates how problems or concerns are handled in the practice? If not, ask the office manager—even though she’s the doctor’s mother, that really shouldn’t make a difference—how the practice can go about starting this process. It might be a good idea to look into companies that help with this so that when you approach the office manager you have resources to show her. If there is a manual, ask her if the office can review it at the next office meeting because there have been questions about the practice's policies.

Lastly but most importantly, stop the gossip! Obviously there is much talking going on in the practice about the doctor and the team member, but there is no good that can come from this. When you hear the rest of the team talking about this, gently tell them that this is really not anyone’s business, and you would appreciate if they changed the subject. We can all agree that the office policies should be fair to everyone, but personal lives are not up for discussion. End of story. Take the initiative and lead the team away from talk like this.

ANSWER FROM JUDY KAY MAUSOLF, Founder of Practice Solutions, Inc:
This is really a two-part question. The impression of favoritism is often the result of lack of standards and clear and consistent expectations. In many cases clear standards have not been established and decisions are made on the fly. This results in different responses to team members. If the results are perceived as less than favorable, it feels like favoritism. I would suggest having a team meeting to discuss establishing clear standards.

The affair is the dentist’s personal business and is not a topic of discussion for the team. If you see behaviors that are unprofessional in the office, address the behaviors, not the affair.

As for the office manager, it’s important to treat her as the office manager and not as the doctor's mother. The conversation that would be appropriate with her is to discuss if there is unprofessional behavior displayed in the office. The alleged affair is the doctor's private matter and is not up for discussion.

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